


Find Comfort in the Moon | Tsukishima Kei/Reader

by ThisNoodleWrites



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, But also not, Eventual Romance, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Anxiety, Implied/Referenced Depression, Light Angst, Reader is very stressed, Reader-Insert, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Tsukishima Kei Being an Asshole
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-08
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-14 09:55:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29294028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThisNoodleWrites/pseuds/ThisNoodleWrites
Summary: Life flipped upside down and inside out. You were over-worked, under cared for; who was going to be the one to blame you when you started falling for the one person who seemed to actually care? No one. That was the problem
Relationships: Tsukishima Kei/Reader, Tsukishima Kei/You
Kudos: 19





	1. Prologue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I managed to ride a big wave of motivation throughout this day and have a bunch of chapters ready to go for this but I'm going to try and let them out slowly.
> 
> I should offer some pieces of explanation for this. So, Reader would be about 15 at the start of this, and your birthday will be at some point in July - there's a reason for this, but we'll get to it later. You're also half English/half Japanese, anything said **in this** is you speaking English (it looks funny to write it, don't worry) and _this is mostly used for emphasis or thoughts_.
> 
> You have 5 siblings, but they all get introduced relatively quickly.
> 
> If you have any questions, don't be afraid to ask!

Life was as normal as it could be. You were finally starting to settle back into a routine that didn’t involve someone so important in your life; maybe this was healing, maybe it was just accepting you would never be the same again. Did that matter?

You were happy you’d never had too many friends, you kept to yourself, that was the only thing that seemed to ease the pain. Everyone always looked at you with pity in their eyes, like if they breathed in your direction you would break - the idea of that made you laugh.

Just as you thought things were settling down, your mother, Abigail, announced something:

**“We’re moving!” That happy look in her face could have fooled anyone who wasn’t paying enough attention. It didn’t fool you.**

****

**“What?”** Nari whined, looking away from her phone for just enough time to scowl.

****

**“Do we have to?”** Milo rested his face on his fist.

****

Aki and Amaya just looked around with wide eyes filled with confusion; Taki looked up from his game to give a lost puppy look. You just stared at her, trying to figure out her motive.

****

**“Of course, we’re going to Japan so you can get back some of your roots,”** Mom waved her hand in front of her face, huffing at everyone’s expressions, **“you might remember Miyagi, Y/N, we took you there a few times when you were young. I think you were six when we last went.”** Even if you didn’t remember it, you nodded. The pain in her eyes eased. **“Besides, it’ll be good for everyone.”**

****

They moaned their complaints, saying it was too far, or they’d miss their friends, or that the change would be too big. Nari looked at you for the final opinion.

****

You let out a soft sigh and nodded, **“yes, okay, it’ll be good. When are we going?”** You asked, much to your siblings dismay.

****

Mom’s eyes lit up like a wildfire, thankful one of her children wouldn’t be complaining the entire time - you didn’t have any feelings either way, whether you stayed or not wasn’t important to you. Maybe she knew that. You couldn’t tell.

****

**“Two weeks, I already made all the preparations, even managed to get back da-”** she paused, hurt dashing on her face before she smiled again **“-the old house. You’ve been enrolled in the school’s there, I have a job set up. It’ll be perfect.”**

****

**“Yeah, just a change of continent is all,”** Nari rolled her eyes and went back to scrolling on her phone.

****

**“Oh don’t give me that, Nari, you know you’ll make friends easy,”** her worried eyes flashed over you, **“you’re gorgeous and funny. Everybody always loves you.”** Nari’s smug smirk said enough for you, you stood and waved, leaving the room.

****

Maybe you should have felt something more about leaving your childhood home, there were so many memories behind these walls that you couldn’t count. You just couldn’t find it in yourself to care. It was a last ditch attempt at getting you to open up again, get you some friends, you could read your mother like a book. It was almost upsetting.

****

Of course, she only wanted what was best for you - even if she didn’t really know what she was doing. You listened from behind your closed door as they bickered. You wanted to yell at Nari for being selfish, but you couldn’t find it in your heart to blame her. You were all hurting to some extent.

****

The plush carpet beneath your feet brought you back to reality. _I wonder,_ you thought, _what would you think of us now, Dad?_

****

That was enough to make your heart hurt. Ever since he had passed away you couldn’t find it in yourself to look anyone in the eyes, if you did, you thought you might break. At this rate, that might actually be true. He’d been the thing to hold everyone together. So, this was her sad attempt at bringing you closer to him, bringing you closer together. You couldn’t help but feel sorry for her.

****

When was she going to learn that things aren’t ever going back to normal? We’re like a puzzle with a missing piece, we work, but everyone can see we’re incomplete and falling apart.

****

You sigh, stepping towards your desk, running your hand over the veneer. A small layer of dust had gathered on it, but you couldn’t bring it in your heart to clean it off. Instead, you opted to sink down into your bed and try to sleep away the worries of today.

****

In two weeks, you’d be gone from here. How are you meant to feel?

****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this, I'll be posting the next chapter tomorrow.
> 
> Leave a like and comment and tell me if I need to improve anything!
> 
> Noodle xx


	2. Chapter 1

Time went by too quickly, and before you knew it you were in Miyagi, standing in your new room. The carpet replaced by hardwood, your slightly dinghy F/C walls replaced by a beige; the sun peering in through the blinds was slightly brighter, more warm and forgiving.

Nari had spent the entire flight complaining that it would take her weeks to get into a good routine, to be able to figure out where everything was and who her new friends would be. You’d spent the entire flight staring out of the plane window and holding Amaya and Aki’s hands, coaxing them to get some rest. They looked so overwhelmed, ears popping and ringing - the best help you could offer was giving them a lollipop each, that seemed to soothe them. Taki’s PsP had died halfway through, so there was another assault of complaints. Milo kept huffing and puffing into you thought your mother might pull out her hair. They didn’t stop until you turned back to them, a hint of annoyance in your eyes, “stop, for five minutes, be quiet.” Despite obviously wanting to keep complaining, they shut their mouths and eyes respectively. Mom looked at you with thankful eyes.

The school year had already started, by two weeks, which meant another wave of crushing anxiety as you were forced to introduce yourself to the class.

On the first day, you went to the teacher’s lounge as instructed. Inside was your homeroom teacher, Mr. Takeda, hopelessly searching for your file. “Oh!” He spurted when he laid his eyes on you. “You must be Miss. Otsuka.” He greeted you with a warm smile, but the name felt like venom against you.

“Just call me Y/N.” You mumbled, shifting uncomfortably.

“Of course, now, you’ll be in class 1-4. And,” he managed to pull your file from one of the drawers, “I’ll be your homeroom teacher.” He looked triumphantly down at the file, it shouldn’t have been that big of an achievement for him to find, yet here he was, practically glowing. He flicked through it, skimming your education. “You’re from England?” He asked, brows furrowing together.

You nodded in response, “I speak fluent Japanese, so, don’t worry.” You hadn’t met his eyes yet, like you were doing everything you could to avoid that personal piece of connection. He smiled warmly again.

“I’m sure it’ll be easy for you to make friends,” he chuckled. Was that really his biggest worry for you? That you wouldn’t make friends? You shifted, this time stepping a little further back from him. Every muscle in your body tense.

“Okay.” And with that he led you to the classroom, instructing you to wait outside until he called you in. You listened carefully, eyes glued outside of the window. Cherry blossoms floated in the air and scattered over the courtyard.

“And we have a new classmate joining us,” Takeda looked over at you, you were still absentmindedly staring, but you walked towards the door, insinuating you had heard him, “this is Otsuka Y/N, she has come all the way from England.” He pointed at you with both hands.

You meagerly bowed, nerves swirling in your stomach, **“Hell-”** You started, but stopped yourself before quickly fixing your introduction, “I’m Otsuka Y/N, please just call me Y/N.” There was a coldness in your voice. Almost everyone’s eyes bore into you as you straightened up; you looked directly at the back of the class, avoiding everyone’s eyes once again.

You weren’t surprised when they started to blast you with questions. You weren’t surprised when they bugged you on breaks and in between classes. You weren’t surprised at their rude comments when you’d refuse to talk to them. You weren’t surprised when they slowly stopped trying to talk to you. This was what you wanted. You didn’t feel bad about hurting them because they didn’t know you, and you didn’t want to know them. Your face was a perfect mask, hiding how much you were screaming inside. It was perfect.

Walking through the halls only managed to make people stare at you with curious eyes. Only when you were alone did you let out a shaky breath, the grip on your lunchbox tightened just a little more, you walked with your head down.

You didn’t look up in time to see the person speeding towards you, in fact, you only saw them when they bumped into you, knocking you just enough that you stumbled to catch yourself. Turning your head to see who that was, you were greeted with the back of a blond head.

“You should really watch where you’re going.” He grumbled, storming off before you could even say anything more to him.

Brushing off his words, you move over towards a slightly broken bench behind the school, slinking down and letting a small sigh shake your body. _This is going to be a lot worse than I thought._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think? If you liked it then please like and comment; if you think I need to work on something, then don't hesitate to tell me!
> 
> Thank you for reading
> 
> Noodle xx


	3. Chapter 2

Somehow, you’d settled into a routine. When you were at school you talked to as few people as possible - you barely even looked at anyone. People labelled you as rude, cold, apathetic, any other words they could think of to describe you as unfriendly. Those that had tried to be kind to you in the beginning now slipped away. You did your classes, performed as well as you could. The only relief you got all day was at lunch, when you would sit alone, soaking up the sunlight and letting any stress take over your body for a few minutes at a time.

When you were at home you were distant but helpful. You cooked and cleaned while your mother worked hard and late; you studied in between everything, and somehow surviving. A heavy weight on your shoulders should have been obvious, but you brushed off their worries with simple smiles. Maybe they realised this. But you weren’t going to let up. Nari was the most worried of your family, maybe because she had to watch as you worked and slaved away; she’d tell you to take a break but it wasn’t that easy, you were the one thing holding everyone together.

This was a routine you were fine with, nothing needed to be changed when things just worked.

Nearly four months of this and you were finally relaxing just a little more.

The lunch bell rang and pulled you out of your thoughts, “that’s all for now.” The maths teacher hummed, closing her book. You rushed out of the room. Trying to get back into your comfort spot far away from everyone.

“Miss. Y/N!” Takeda’s voice called out to you, slightly out of breath. He planted his hands firmly on his knees, trying to steady himself before shooting up and smiling warmly again. All eyes were on you as you turned slowly to face him.

“Yes, Mr Takeda?” You kept as calm as you could despite your heart pounding in your chest.

“Could you come with me for a moment?” You wanted to run, but you couldn’t be rude to someone older than you, let alone a teacher. A gentle nod eased his worries and he led you through the halls, chatting with you lightly about how you’d been getting on in classes and with people. “I heard you haven’t been making a lot of friends?”

“Do I have to make friends?” You asked him. Worry was obvious on his face, you opted to stare at your shoes so you could avoid his gaze, letting your H/C hair fall in front of your eyes.

“I-” he stuttered, clearing his throat to regain his composure, “I think I speak for everyone when I say it would be better if you did.”

“So, no?” The lack of expression on your face as you lifted your head up only served to make him look more worried - you didn’t think that was possible, but you were corrected.

“You should join a club!” He put his hands on his hips, confident in his choice of words.

“What?”

“There are a lot of options, you may find one that you really enjoy. I’d recommend you for the volleyball club manager, although I am biased.” He rambled for a moment. You were lost in his flurry of words, head whirling around, trying to grasp. A volleyball club? Just when you thought you could escape, everything seemed to pull you back to what you were trying to escape. “Of course! If that isn’t your thing then there is always a photography club, or… art? Maybe you would be better suited for something more academi-”

“No, thank you.” Your cold tone cut him off, shocking him.

“Excuse me?”

“I don’t want to join a club. I don’t need any friends. Why does it matter to you whether or not I’m having a good time?” You hadn’t realized how tightly you’d clenched your fist, how much your chest ached, how tears had pricked in your eyes.

“Why wouldn’t I care? Y/N, I am your teacher, it is my job to care about you. Your grades are excellent, but every teacher has said that you lack any willingness to participate socially. Even a few complaints have been made by your classmates.” There was that worry in his voice again. You hated it. It didn’t make any sense. “I’ve talked to your mother, but she said she didn’t know about any of this. Did something happen, Y/N? You know, you can talk to me, I may not know a lot about what kids these days go through, but I’m sure I could help.”

You stepped back away from him, trying to figure out what was the best thing to do. To say. The more you looked at him, the more he looked like your dad. You hated it. You wanted to hate him. You wanted to leave and get far away.

“Fine. Volleyball. That one.” It was more to end the conversation more than anything. His eyes lit up. He may not have succeeded to get you to talk about your life, but at least you were doing something, _anything_.

“Okay! I’ll tell Shimizu and Yachi, would you be able to come to the gym after school today?” Takeda looked almost too proud of himself.

You shifted your bag, trying to ease the weight, “I guess.” Pulling out your phone, you quickly called your mother. “How long for?”

“Oh! Well, normally practice goes on until 5, so if you could stay until then, then that would be great.” He eyed your phone. “But if you have somewhere else to be-”

“I’ll have to make some arrangements but it’ll be fine.” Your mothers voice rang through your ears, she sounded tired. **“I’m joining a club.”** You informed her, bowing to your teacher as he watched you with wide eyes. _Did he forget that I used to live in England?_ You pondered the thought as you slipped into your corner of the school.

**“What? That’s amazing!”** She perked up instantaneously at the mention of it - she’d never expected you to even make a friend at this new school, let alone join a club.

**“Yeah,”** you stretched out your legs and dropped your bag to the floor.

**“What club? Tell me all about it! Oh, this is so amazing, I’ll make the whole club a thank you treat.”**

You should have bit your lip and lied, you should have done anything, as soon as the words ‘volleyball’ left your mouth, your mother was banished into silence. The regret washed over you and came crashing down in vicious waves that refused to ease up. 

**“Is that all you wanted to say?”** Her voice was now void of emotion. You shoved your hand into your hair and tried to calm your shaking figure; _how stupid am I?_ Your own thoughts cut you deeper.

**“Can you ask Nari to cook Aki and Amaya some food tonight? Tell her I’ll be back around 5:30, so she doesn’t need to worry about her food.”** Somehow, amongst the emotions, you managed to keep your voice even. How you’d done it was beyond you.

**“I can do it.”** She was steaming with anger. **“I’m not that much of a useless mother, you know.”** That was the final straw. She hung up and you felt yourself breakdown. You grabbed pieces of yourself, trying to shove it back together.

Maybe it was too late. The sounds of footsteps drawing further away slammed you back into reality. Had someone just been watching that? Listening. No. Even if they had been listening, it wouldn’t have made any difference... 

Did it make a difference?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think? 
> 
> If you liked it then don't forget to like and comment - I'm open to any critique you may have!
> 
> Noodle xx


	4. Chapter 3

You almost felt excited for the end of the day to come, only slightly forgetting what you’d promised your teacher until he appeared outside of your classroom, smiling warmly; you wanted to run in the opposite direction, tossing around your options. It was likely you could outrun him, but could you be bothered to? That was a different question.

In the time that it had taken you to make the decision your legs had already decided your fate, barely keeping up with his pace. He rambled on and on about the team so much that you thought your ears might bleed. “-we’re going to a training camp in Tokyo in a week, everybody is really excited for it!”

“What’s so exciting about a training camp?” You asked, more so that awkward silence wouldn’t settle in.

“For starters, we would be training with some very skilled players in practice matches. It’ll give us a chance to really improve, maybe it’ll even give us a boost to get us to nationals.” He chuckled, pushing up his glasses.

The sound of screaming, squeaky shoes, and balls slamming into the ground got louder with each step until you were outside of the gym, staring at the doors. While Takeda had expected your lack of emotion, it was still bone chilling.

He swung open the doors, “everybody! If I could have your attention.” They halted their practice and turned to the teacher. He stepped out of the way and pointed at you. “This is Otsuka Y/N, she’s going to be joining us as a manager from today.”

You recognised some of the first years; they’d heard the rumors, you could see it in their eyes. A blonde girl to your right shuddered as your stare washed over her, hiding behind a pretty girl with glasses. Bowing, you greeted them.

There was a thick tension in the air that clouded your thoughts.

A small boy with orange, wild hair ran up to you, catching your eyes - though you quickly pulled them away from his intense gaze. Three more boys you knew to be third years came up to you, soon followed by everyone else.

“Are you the girl that came from England?” The orange haired boy asked, widening his eyes with sparkles.

“Yes.”

“Can you speak English?” A boy with black hair spoke up.

“Obviously not,” sarcasm dripped from your tongue and they almost looked disappointed. **“I think I’m going to be sick.”** Their eyes brightened.

“Why did you move here?” Someone else asked.

“Because.”

“Do you know about volleyball?”

“Say something else in English!”

“How do you know Japanese?”

They bombarded you with questions, like they’d never interacted with another person in their life. You started to blink at a vicious rate, eyes darting around the room at all the boys, trying to keep with the sudden energy; it didn’t stop until you turned your head away from them, staring at the sky to try and calm yourself down. Confused and dazed, they stopped. You flitted your eyes back to try and see if they were still staring, when you confirmed they were, you turned your gaze back up.

“I think you all need to calm down a bit.” Takeda chuckled uneasily. “Y/N is just a normal person like the rest of us, so try and remember that.” Everyone stepped back, not realizing they’d been towering over you.

When you finally looked back at them, you couldn’t help but feel ashamed, they’d only been trying to be friendly. Was it too rude? Before you had time to think about it, they all introduced themselves to rapid fire.

Maybe you looked overwhelmed, because the pretty girl from earlier stepped in front of you and sighed, “calm down.” She said, stern but loving. Nothing cold in her expression, more like she was tired. “We’re glad to have your help.” She turned and offered you a sweet smile.

“Kiyoko smiled!” Two boys, Tanaka and Nishinoya, hugged each other with a loving look in their eyes. _So, most of the attention will be on her? Good, _you thought, nodding at her comment.__

__Throughout the practice, you watched carefully, Shimizu explaining the rules of the game in between jobs. The blonde girl, Yachi, seemed to appreciate your presence and stone cold gaze that kept most of them from talking to you. Key word: most. One particular boy, Tsukishima Kei, seemed to take pleasure in teasing you. Digging himself under your skin. You recognised him from your class, though he’d never been one to talk to you until today - was it really talking if it was only one sided? He didn’t give you another second to think about it before quipping, “did they not teach you any respect in England, Stone Cold Queen?” You growled at the nickname you’d only heard once or twice. You ignored him with all your might, keeping your face steady, hoping, begging, he’d find you boring enough to move on._ _

__Of course that wasn’t the case. You were used to this treatment, not a stranger to people’s harsh words and whispers that danced around you. Oh how you were a fool for thinking that ignoring him would make him ease up._ _

__By the time practice over, you were ready to run out of the door until coach Ukai said you had to stay for a quick meeting. He went over the things that they needed to work on for next week, things that would be detrimental if they wanted to make it to nationals._ _

__Just before it was over, he turned towards you, “so, what do you say?” You straightened up your body, missing whatever he had asked you. He only got the message when you tilted your head, “are you going to come with us to Tokyo or what?”_ _

__“Or what.” You snorted, avoiding his eyes. “I’ll see.” Shifting uncomfortably had now, apparently, become your favourite pastime. “I’ll need to make some arrangements,” you added when they looked at you with sad eyes._ _

__“Make arrangements? With how many friends you have, I doubt your schedule is that busy,” Tsukishima looked down at you, a smug smirk curled his lips, “nobody needs you that badly.”_ _

__Daichi - he’d asked you to call him by his first name - twisted and started to yell at the boy about how he needs to control his words. It shook everyone to their core and they were fleeing the gym in seconds._ _

__As you stepped out the door, the captain called out to you. His eyes bounced over your features, trying to figure out what you were thinking._ _

__“Ignore Tsukishima, I know he can be a bit harsh sometimes, but he does care.” He was trying to be comforting, it was almost funny._ _

__“I don’t care either way,” you shrugged, staring down at your shoes. He didn’t seem too shocked by your reaction, like he’d been expecting it._ _

__He rubbed the back of his, trying to think of the right words to say. “Either way, if he’s bothering you, just tell me. I’ll sort him out for you.” He jabbed a thumb into his chest and smiled proudly. You nodded slowly and started to walk away from him._ _

__“I’ll keep that in mind,” you said, although you never intended to actually bring him up on that offer. You could handle him yourself._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've really been enjoying writing this, might draw some fanart for it (although it would be how I see the character hehe)
> 
> Tell me what you think, like and comment, maybe read some of my other stuff ifyouwanttoyoudonthaveto
> 
> I'm going to be working on more of my one shot stuff today
> 
> Thank you
> 
> Noodle xx


End file.
